The Breaking of a Heart
by CallMeKills
Summary: His heart did not crumble. It shattered, and she collected piece after piece. Before Severus knew it, his heart belonged completely to her. And hers belonged to someone else. A series of Severus/Lily one-shots.
1. The Initial Shatter

**Disclaimer: The Harry Potter franchise belongs to J.K. Rowling.**

**A/N: This will be a series of one-shots revolving around Severus and Lily, beginning at Hogwarts and continuing throughout their lives, touching on important moments in their relationship. The story will not stray too far from the books (or the movies, for that matter), and will be written from Severus' point of view. Enjoy and review!**

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><p><strong><span>The Breaking of a Heart<span>**

Chapter 1

The Initial Shatter

_Don't want to reach for me, do you?__  
><em>_I mean nothing to you  
><em>_The little things give you away  
><em>  
>"Little Things Give You Away" - Linkin Park<p>

* * *

><p>The stars twinkled in the inky night, their reflections dancing in the rippling lake. A round, silver moon shone brilliantly from its position in the sky, both illuminating and casting shadow on everything beneath it. The fleet of little wooden boats glided silently along, slicing through the waters. It was quiet, eerily so. Not a sound could be heard, save for the odd whispered conversation breaking out amongst the students, or the splash of a gentle wave lapping the side of the boats in which they resided.<p>

Severus leaned over the edge of his vessel, peering down into the depths of the black waters, his long, dark hair falling into his eyes. He frowned slightly, disappointed; all he could see was his own silhouette, a shadow cast by the moon above. He quickly recoiled as the boat lurched, changing direction as it rounded a bend as though an invisible string pulled it onwards. He was seating himself back safely on the wooden bench when he felt a small tug on his arm.

"Sev, look!" whispered Lily, her voice hushed in awe. Similar gasps and cries began to echo around the lake as the boats glided further around the curve. Severus followed her gaze, looking up just as a magnificent castle came into view. Its turrets and towers pierced the moonlit heavens, and a warm, inviting glow pulsed through the rows of windows lining the stone walls. It loomed nearer and nearer as the boats approached the rocky cliff on which it was perched.

A faint sensation tickled his senses, and as Severus concentrated he recognized the familiar thrum of magic. The place was alive with it, he thought, awestruck. The magic was entwined with the castle, with the grounds, with the very air he breathed. This place was magic. He was magic. Severus was beginning to feel, for the first time in his life, that he belonged. Could this finally be a place he could call home?

Severus looked over at Lily and drew in a sharp breath. Her emerald eyes were wide with wonder as she stared at the fortress before them, and he could see twinkling twin castles reflected in their depths. So immersed was he in the sight that it was a moment before he realized she was talking to him.

"...almost there." Her eyes flicked to him, and for a moment he saw his own image pooled in the shining orbs. "I'm nervous, Sev. Are you nervous?"

He pressed his lips together in a grim smile. "A little," he admitted, his gaze wandering back to the vast castle towering above them.

* * *

><p>"Drew, Elizabeth!"<p>

A small, frightened looking girl with masses of honey-blonde curls pushed her way through the crowd and stumbled up to the stool. Placing the hat gingerly onto her head, she seated herself and waited. There was a pause of several seconds as the hat appeared to think, its brow furrowed and the rip near its brim that Severus assumed to be a mouth pursed in ponder. Then -

"HUFFLEPUFF!"

The table on the right broke out into applause, cheering and clapping enthusiastically as Elizabeth took a seat. An expression of relief washed over her features as the older Hufflepuff students clamored to shake her hand.

"It's odd, isn't it?" whispered Lily from her position beside him as "Ellington, Juliet" went up to be sorted. Her breath tickled his ear. "I mean, it's almost as if it's looking into their minds."

He nodded slowly, but inside a jolt of panic shot though him. He didn't like that idea at all. There were things in his past, and even in his present, that he shared with no one, not even Lily. If he was too scared of what she would think, of what kind, sweet Lily would say, how would a Sorting Hat react? What would it find when it looked into his mind?

"I really hope it puts us both in Slytherin," he muttered, casting an anxious glance in her direction. He needed a reassurance. He needed a friend.

But she was not paying attention. "Sure, Sev," she said vaguely, craning her neck to see where "Ervin, Scott" was placed.

"SLYTHERIN!"

Her eyes followed the tall boy as he went to take a seat amid jeers and applause from the occupants of the table.

And Severus did not like how the corners of her lips turned downwards in a frown.

"Evans, Lily!"

She took a deep breath and stepped through the crowd without so much as a backwards glance. Severus watched as she walked to the stool, placing the hat atop her crimson waves, a look of determination fixed across her features. The hat paused for a moment, then -

"GRYFFINDOR!"

An audible groan escaped his lips as he squeezed his eyes shut, not wanting to see a smiling Lily hop off the stool and join the cheering Gryffindor table. He dared to open them again after a few moments, though she was quickly obscured from view as the crowd jostled to make way for "Ferguson, Alisa."

Time blurred as name after name was called and first-years stepped up to be sorted one by one. Severus felt increasingly sick. The crowd was dwindling as "Pettigrew, Peter" scurried up to the stool, followed by the boy with untidy black hair who had tormented him on the train. His own turn was approaching Severus thought, palms growing sweatier by the minute. Where would the Sorting Hat put him? His mother had told him without a shred of doubt that he would be in Slytherin. But then again, he had been so sure that that's where the hat would put Lily. He ached to be with her, to have her familiar face grinning up at him as he took a seat beside her. But this would only come to pass if he was sorted into Gryffindor, the house that valued nerve and chivalry, only taking those with a brave heart. Lily was brave. He wasn't. He possessed none of these qualities. He was just -

"Snape, Severus!"

And he came tumbling back down to reality.

Mouth dry, he walked up to the stool and lifted the hat carefully from its perch. He made to place it on his head, but it slipped from his grasp and tumbled to the floor. Scattered laughter broke out among the students, though it was quickly silenced. But he didn't care. He couldn't think. His fingers shook as he retrieved the disgruntled looking hat and sat down. His eyes instinctively searched for Lily's, and this time they found her. She smiled encouragingly, and with newfound confidence, he put on the hat. Everything went dark as it fell over his eyes, though the image of Lily's face still burned in the forefront of his mind.

He jumped as a small voice sounded in his ear. "You've got a friend in Gryffindor, eh? Hmm...let's see… You have an exceedingly bright mind, yes…no shortage of intelligence and cunning there…and plenty of ambition...but I also sense a great deal of bravery. Perhaps it still lay too far beneath the surface, however... Difficult, difficult..." Detached, incoherent mutterings could be heard for what felt like hours as the hat hemmed and hawed. Severus squeezed his eyes shut and waited, thoughts nervously flitting around, unsure of what to think. The mutterings seemed more decisive now, and he felt the hat jostle as it opened its mouth...

"SLYTHERIN!"

His heart sank.

His whole body felt numb as he made his way over to the Slytherin table. Hands reached out to pull him down onto the bench, clapping him on the back as he sat down next to an older boy with long blonde tresses. He didn't want to look up; he didn't want to see the look of disappointment that would surely show on Lily's face...

Severus began his meal in silence, though not too distracted by his own thoughts to marvel at the vast assortment of food laid out in glorious heaps before him. His dark eyes widened as they took in the sight; Severus had never seen this much food in his life. He tentatively piled some potato on his plate, and when no one objected, he reached over for more.

Conversation among the students had picked up once more, the buzz of hundreds of voices echoing around the hall. The Slytherin table was no exception, and Severus struggled to keep up with the chatter around him, only catching bits and pieces of conversations. A group of first- and second-years nearest him were introducing themselves to one another, and a large boy with chestnut hair nodded over at Severus.

"Hey," he greeted, grasping Severus' hand over the table. His smile did not reach his eyes. "Hunter Manson. Pure-blood. Second-year. And you are..."

"Severus Snape," he said quickly. "This is my first year."

"You don't say!" chuckled the girl beside him, her grey eyes sweeping over his face. "Welcome, by the way, to the noble house of Slytherin."

He tried to nod coolly and managed to drop his fork. The conversation had progressed when he emerged, face flushed, from beneath the table.

"...father's Ministry job," drawled a sharp-featured first-year from his seat beside Hunter. "He'd rather be higher up, of course, in the Ministry rankings, but the pay is...shall we say... _above average_, and he does get to rub shoulders with the Minister himself..."

"Really?" interjected the older boy on the other side of Severus, his brows raised appraisingly. He wore a prefect's badge, and his immaculate long hair was a shocking white-blonde colour the likes of which Severus had never seen. "Because I was under the impression that the only people your father rubs shoulders with are _Muggles_. After all," he added as the first-year spluttered angrily, "your father being of such...low ranking, the _Muggle relations_ do fall under his list of duties, do they not?"

The surrounding students roared with laughter. The first-year stared down at his plate, red-faced and slouching in his seat.

The boy tossed her hair back and continued, "...though why anyone would even _want_ relations with the bottom-feeders of the wizarding world is beyond -"

"My dad is a Muggle."

Severus didn't know why he said it. He wasn't at all proud of this fact; his father had never shown him a shred of kindness, preferring to put all his energy into despising everything to do with magic. Including him. His own son.

But the effect this statement had on the group was instantaneous. Everyone froze, various expressions of shock, disbelief, and disgust plastered onto their faces.

A babble of voices broke out as everyone began talking at once.

"Then how did you get into..."

"...you just..._defending_ him?"

"...blurt that out..."

"...aren't you _ashamed_?"

Hunter's cold voice cut through the others. "So you're a half-blood."

Unable to speak, Severus simply nodded. He cleared his throat and tried again. "I...I didn't know that was..." he trailed off feebly.

The grey-eyed girl snorted. "You're in Slytherin, honey. It matters. I wouldn't just go around announcing that if I were you."

And the conversation moved on, leaving Severus in the dust. No one else talked to him. No one bothered to try.

What made it worse was the view he had from his position at the Slytherin table. Now that the cluster of first-years had all seated themselves, he had a clear view of the Gryffindor table, where Lily was chatting animatedly with the girl beside her. On her other side was the unruly-haired boy Severus recognized from earlier. He would watch her for a while, willing her to look up and give him the same smile that had once filled him to the brim with confidence. But she never did.

The feast drew to a close, and Severus barely registered the headmaster's speech, his thoughts now focused solely on Lily. He was miserable and feeling more isolated than ever; he needed to talk to her, to be with her. He needed her to grab his hand and look him in the eye and tell him that everything was going to be okay; that nothing was going to change.

His head snapped up as students around him began to stir and rise from the benches. The spell that the headmaster seemed to cast over the occupants of the hall broke, and suddenly everyone was on their feet, talking and laughing. The students closest to the exit were going their separate ways, each heading in the direction of their respective common room. This, Severus realized with a jolt, was the last chance he had to see Lily.

Leaping to his feet, he frantically searched the crowd for her familiar ruby hair. He spotted it, vivid and vibrant among the sea of students, and began to jog in her direction. He wasn't able to get far, and he was forced to slow down as he began to push and squeeze his way through the throng.

Catching a glimpse of her, Severus' heart pounded. She was almost near the archway, and appeared to have no intention of turning around. Didn't she want to see him? Was he already forgotten? But no, he _needed_ her; she couldn't slip out of his grasp this time...

"Lily!" he called desperately. "_Lily_!"

Her crimson head paused, and for one wonderful, fleeting moment he thought she had heard him. His heart soared...and then crashed into splinters as a wave of students pushed her forward, and she continued on her way to the Gryffindor common room.

She left the Great Hall.

And took the first piece of his heart along with her.


	2. A Bittersweet Taste

**Disclaimer: The Harry Potter franchise belongs to J.K. Rowling.**

**A/N: I apologize for the update delay. Please keep the reviews coming – they're what keeps me writing! **

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><p><strong><span>The Breaking of a Heart<span>**

Chapter 2

A Bittersweet Taste

_We were born and raised  
>In a summer haze<em>  
><em>Bound by the surprise<br>Of our glory days  
><em>  
>"Someone Like You" - Adele<p>

* * *

><p>Summer was, without doubt, Severus' favourite time of year.<p>

Perhaps it was the blazing sun and the cloudless skies that seemed to go on forever. Glorious heat cast a dreamy spell over everyone it touched, tickling breezes caressed bare skin. Vegetation was lush and the flowers were in full bloom, giving the world a new sense of life. Summer was neither dark nor cold, and Severus was relieved to break free of the chill that surrounded him at Hogwarts.

And perhaps it was the escape from his school that Severus found so desirable in summer. The warm, inviting glow that Hogwarts had promised in his first couple years was dwindling down to a feeble flame. For him, it was now a place of torment. A place of taunt and insult. The school was still a home to him, and Severus knew it would always be. But over the years he had been given every reason to despise his life there. To despise himself.

Perhaps it was the weather. Perhaps it was the freedom. Perhaps it was because summer was the one chance he had to see his mother, however cold and distant she may be.

But if he were to be truly honest with himself, it was because of her.

They had always shared the summers, he and Lily. Ever since he could remember. Summers were a time they had all to themselves, a world they had outside regular life. A place where only the two of them existed, where no red and green kept them apart.

This summer had been no exception. From the very moment Severus and Lily arrived home, they had been virtually inseparable. It was an unspoken rule that any tension between them that had built up over the school year evaporated the moment they were back home. And besides, there was so much more to talk about, so much more to do now that they had two years of education and experience. Theory was practiced, charms were perfected. Homework given out to be completed over the holiday was quickly finished, though did little to quench the thirst for new magical knowledge.

* * *

><p>"Not another one, Sev!"<p>

The raven-haired boy rolled his eyes. "Come on, Lily...they aren't that bad," he protested. "I've read some of that one; it's actually quite interesting."

Lily dangled the dusty book between two fingers and held it up for inspection. It was swathed in a dirty, dark material and had cracked leather bindings. "_Enchantments and Curses of the Darkest Kind,_" she read, disapproval evident in her voice. "This looks horrible, Sev! I can't believe you even open these."

She tossed the book aside and he scrambled to catch it before it hit the ground. "Careful! That's mother's!" he cried.

"They're _all_ your mother's," Lily said teasingly. "And I'm surprised she still hasn't caught you smuggling them out of the house. She really has no idea?"

Severus shook his head slowly, trying to mask the churning in his stomach. He hated lying to Lily. But he had to. If she ever found out how much trouble he had been in when his mother first discovered the missing books, she would make him stop bringing them. And then this would end.

"Let's read about transfiguration, okay?" she said, selecting a new volume from the pile beside them.

Relieved that the subject had changed, he readily agreed. They stretched out beside each other on the grassy bank, nestling the book between them and easing open the cover.

The paper was old and yellowed, but the text was legible and the pictures weren't too difficult to make out. There were notes and sketches scribbled in the margins, offering insight and elaborating on ideas presented in the text. Severus liked to think they were written and drawn by past generations of wizards and witches as they sat beneath the same brilliant blue sky that was over his head now.

Lily's long hair tickled Severus' arm as he reached to turn the page. His eyes traveled up along the flaming strands and for the hundredth time he marveled at the colour. The deep ruby red glowed in any light, but the warm light of the summer sun gave it radiance unlike anything he had ever seen before.

Suddenly Severus was not interested in transfiguration.

"Lily," he began, pausing when he realized he had no idea what he was going to say. What he was trying to tell her.

"Yeah, Sev?" she said absentmindedly. Her focus was on the book in front of her, and she flicked a stray leaf off the paper before carefully turning the page.

He pushed himself up onto his knees, brushing his hair back from his face. Wetting his lips, he squeezed his eyes shut and forced his thoughts into some kind of order. "We're friends, right?"

"Of course," came her reply. Calm, unconcerned.

He shook his head slowly; he wasn't getting to the point. Trying again, he shifted closer to her on the grass. "I mean, we're best friends, aren't we?"

"Yeah, I think so," she spoke matter-of-factly, her attention still on the transfiguration volume.

"And, as your best friend," he pressed on, "I care about you. A lot."

Lily finally glanced up at him, recognizing a hint of sincerity in his voice that wasn't usually there. Turning onto her side, she propped herself up on her elbow. "I care about you too, Sev," she agreed, regarding him curiously.

He took a deep breath, struggling to put his feelings into words.

"You mean a lot to me," he said, choosing his words carefully. "And we'll always be best friends, right? I mean...I don't know what I would do without you..." He trailed off and looked shyly at Lily, unsure of how to go on.

He breathed a sigh of relief when she broke into a grin. She sat up, tucking her flaming hair behind her ear and moving close beside him. Taking his shaking hands in her steady ones, she smiled up at him. "Sev, we will _always_ be best friends. No one knows me like you do." Her eyes twinkled mischievously. "And I don't think anyone else would be able to stand me."

His lips twitched, and then gave way to a small smile, the kind only she could provoke. "Well, you _are_ pretty unbearable. I doubt you could find anyone else who'd put up with you."

Lilly laughed and threw her arms around him. "You're the best, Sev," she giggled. She pulled back after a moment, her arms still looped around his neck.

Severus was suddenly acutely aware of how close she was to him. How close their faces were. His eyes briefly met hers, and he knew she was thinking the same thing.

He could feel her warm breath on his skin, and his arms tightened around her torso. The transfiguration book lay forgotten on the grass beside them, and in that moment there was only Lily, Lily with her shining eyes and sweet red hair and caring heart that was more than big enough for the both of them.

Her gaze flicked down to his lips, sending the butterflies in his stomach into a flurry of motion. He leaned in closer. She did not pull away.

A sudden rustle sounded from their right as Petunia pushed her way through the bushes. Lily jerked back and jumped to her feet, colour flooding her cheeks.

Petunia pointed features twisted in suspicion. "Mum wants you for lunch," she said haughtily. Turning to Severus, she narrowed her eyes. "She said you can come too."

He nodded silently, not trusting himself to speak. His mind reeled, his thoughts a whirl of wonder, hope, and confusion. He forced himself to look up at Lily, but she would not meet his eyes, instead turning to follow Petunia.

Taking with her another piece of his heart.


	3. House Divisions

**Disclaimer: The Harry Potter franchise belongs to J.K. Rowling.**

**A/N: This one was inspired by the holiday season – I hope you're enjoying it too, wherever you are and whatever you celebrate! :)**

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><p><strong><span>The Breaking of a Heart<span>**

Chapter 3

House Divisions

_And I find it kind of funny__  
><em>_I find it kind of sad_  
><em>That dreams in which I'm dying<em>_  
><em>_Are the best I ever had_

_I find it hard to tell you  
><em>_I find it hard to take  
><em>_When people run in circles  
><em>_It's a very, very  
><em>_Mad world__  
><em>  
>"Mad World" – Gary Jules<p>

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><p>The Great Hall was buzzing with excitement.<p>

Severus could feel the undercurrent of adrenaline from the moment he passed through the heavy oak doors, and was still marveling at the energy in the room as he seated himself at the Slytherin table. He glanced around the hall. Glowing faces lit up with laughter; cheeks flushed and eyes sparkled. Lively conversations of speculation were in full swing, tossing predictions about the day to come every which way. Many pointed to the ceiling of the Great Hall, where great billowing clouds hung high in the air, looking as if they would burst in a glorious cascade of fresh snow at any given moment. Some eager students had even come down to breakfast decked out in their winter gear.

The first Hogsmeade trip of the season showed a great deal of promise.

Spooning some eggs onto his plate, Severus tried not to let his own excitement show. He had come to learn that in the Slytherin house, displays of emotion generally led to suspicion, and suspicion led to questions. And as much as he eagerly anticipated spending the day with Lily Evans, he couldn't help but think that his housemates would not partake in his enthusiasm.

His fork clattered onto his plate as he was jolted - quite literally - out of his reverie, a stray elbow hitting him from the left.

Evan Rosier turned to face Severus, an apologetic grin plastered on his pockmarked face. "Whoops! Guess I got a little carried away there, Snape. I was just telling Avery about the new display at Zonko's. It's pretty wild."

The brown-haired boy across the table snorted into his porridge. "Yeah. Wild. I suppose you also think Muggles are a riot. And flobberworms are just the craziest little - "

"I'm serious!" Rosier protested. "The Christmas crackers were huge! When one of those bursts open, it's a small explosion!" His arms flailed in every direction as he attempted to illustrate; it was easy to see how Severus had been bumped.

He finished his meal quickly and rose, planning to return to his dormitory before meeting Lily. On the way out of the Great Hall, he glanced over at the Gryffindor table, his eyes seeking and latching onto the vibrant red in the sea of students. He quickly caught her eye, and she flashed him a dazzling smile.

He returned it weakly, then hurried out the doors before she could see the blush forming on his cheeks.

* * *

><p>"Oh no, Sev, we <em>have<em> to go in - "

"I don't know. It looks busy."

"Everywhere else we've gone has been the same! C'mon...it's Honeydukes! They'll have all the Christmas sweets out!" Lily pleaded, her features twisting into an expression that melted his heart.

"To tell you the truth, I've never really been big on sweets..." His lip twitched. He knew she would see right through him, but he was enjoying their banter too much to give in.

"Rubbish. You love them. You devoured those pastries I brought you on your birthday." Lily seized him by the arm and steered him towards the door of the shop.

He didn't resist. Though he would never admit it to her, the heaps of candies displayed behind frosted windows glittered invitingly. He stared, transfixed, at the endless strands of twinkling white lights bordering the glass and lighting up the roof of the little shop. His mother had never been able to afford twinkling white lights.

Severus felt the soft wool of her mitten grasp his bare hand and tug him through the doorway. A wave of warmth washed over him as they moved farther and farther into the store, weaving through the clusters of students.

The inside of the shop was swathed in silver tinsel and bundles of holly, and a wreath hung on each wall. Gingerbread houses of every shape and colour filled the display tables, edged with white creamy frosting and decorated with candy buttons.

A considerable crowd of students were gathered around the centre of the room, where a miniature mountain of chocolate sat on a podium of lights. There was a tunnel carved in the side of the structure from which a tiny toy train emerged, whistling shrilly, emitting little puffs of steam. The students laughed delightedly, watching as it began its journey along the winding track running throughout the store.

Severus passed all manner of Gryffindors, Hufflepuffs, Ravenclaws, and even some young Slytherins, faces flushed and laughter ringing. He breathed a sigh of relief. These were not the kind of people who would ridicule his choice of company. But he hated himself for caring.

"Ooh look at these!" Lily said excitedly, oblivious to his internal conflict. She pulled him over to an aisle of wooden barrels, her face glowing in the golden light. Her cheeks had attained a rosy glow, and her ruby hair was damp with melted snowflakes. Her eyes turned to him, and he held her gaze, the sudden feeling of connection sending a tingle throughout his body. All thoughts of blood status evaporated as Severus concluded that at this moment, he was the luckiest wizard in the world.

Wrenching his sight away from her before he fell any harder, he read the sign perched above. "Bertie Bot - " Pausing mid-sentence, he fixed her with a glare. "No."

Lily giggled. "Come on, Sev. It's the _Christmas_ collection."

"Explain to me how that's going to make them taste any better?" he demanded.

She sighed dramatically, eyes sparkling. "Fine. I guess I'll just have to prove it to you."

Eyeing the barrel of samples cautiously, Lily reached out and plucked a cherry red bean from the pile, sniffing it delicately.

"It's probably candy cane," she concluded, though Severus could tell she was entirely unconvinced.

He snorted. "Or peppercorn. Or cranberry sauce. Or maybe even reindeer blood..."

"That's gross," she said, wrinkling her nose. "I mean, any kind of blood would be awful, but _reindeer_ are so - "

"You're stalling." He arched an eyebrow, surprised at his own boldness. "Let's go, Lily. I want to get a Butterbeer before they're all out."

"They'll never be out of Butterbeer," she muttered, and proceeded to pop the candy in her mouth.

Her eyes widened in alarm, and Severus watched, in equal parts amusement and concern, as her face slowly flushed a bright red. She opened her mouth to speak, but nothing came out save for a hoarse croak.

"What is it?" he prodded, curious as to the cause of her discomfort - the flavour of the bean.

She cleared her throat, eyes watering uncontrollably. "..Cin...Cinnamon!" she choked out, and ran coughing from the shop. He followed in her wake, genuinely laughing for the first time in months.

* * *

><p>As anticipated, the clouds had finally given way. Snowflakes fluttered down from the deliciously opaque sky, blanketing the street in a thick layer of white. Everything gleamed and glistened, the light from the shops lining the way throwing golden shadows on all it touched.<p>

They paused to watch a group of carolers gathered outside The Three Broomsticks, joining the crowd that had gathered. Their clear voices rang in the cool air, sweet and pure, weaving intricate harmonies that impressed even Severus.

A slight pressure on his arm caused him to jump, and he looked down in time to see Lily rest her head on his shoulder. Her shimmering hair spilled over his cloak in waves of candied cherries.

Sometime later, the two reluctantly drew away from the choir and joined the throng of students entering The Three Broomsticks. The inviting warmth of the place hit Severus as he stepped over the threshold, and the melody of festive spices wafting through the air tickled his senses.

Students were crowded around the small, wobbly tables scattered throughout the place. They gathered in groups of various sizes. Some were larger collections of students, happily chattering with each other as they sipped their drink. But it was the students who sat in pairs, holding hands and whispering quietly, that sent a jolt through Severus' stomach.

He soon spotted a group of Slytherins in the far corner, their jeers and laughter cutting cruelly through the soft sounds of the holiday music playing in the background. As he and Lily drew nearer, searching for a table of their own, Severus drew in a sharp breath as he recognized face after face. It was _his_ group. And they were turning around...

"Hey Snape!" yelled Rosier, his frothy Butterbeer sloshing over the sides of his mug as he swung round in greeting.

The others nodded towards him, then slowly began to take notice of the small redheaded figure half-hidden behind him.

Mulciber let out a long, low whistle. "Well what have we got here?"

The chorus of hollers rose up again, though this time directed at Severus. Heads of those seated near the Slytherins were beginning to turn, the scene unfolding before them too irresistible to ignore.

"I can tell you, Mulciber," Avery broke in, grinning maliciously. "Starts with 'Mud' and ends in - "

His words were drowned out by the cruel laughter that erupted around the table.

One Slytherin called out a warning as a plump woman emerged from behind the front counter, headed in their direction with a scowl fixed on her round features.

Severus numbly decided this was his cue to leave. His cheeks were red, and not from the cold. Ignoring the jeers thrown his way, he grabbed Lily's arm and led her away from the group, steering her towards a small table beside a glowing stone fireplace.

"Why?"

The word was out of her mouth before she had even taken a seat.

He was confused. "Why what?"

"Why did you let them talk to us like that?" Her eyes glittered in the firelight, anger swirling in their depths. Such a change from the perfect moments before. "Why are you friends with them, Sev?"

"They're not usually so..." he trailed off, racking his brains for an answer. He came up with nothing.

"I won't pretend I've never been called..._that_...before," she said, her voice breaking. He wanted to reach out and hold her hand, but his twisted logic knew that would only make it worse. "But it still hurts. And you hang around with these people every day..."

"I'm sorry," he said quietly. This is not how he wanted the day to turn out at all. "But I am in Slytherin. And I can't avoid every single housemate."

She sighed, though still looked upset. "I know."

They sat in silence, both pairs of eyes fixed on the dancing flames as they licked the stone interior of the fireplace. The need for a Butterbeer was no longer quite so pressing.

"Lily!"

A sing-song voice broke the moment's calm. Severus looked up to see a small group of Gryffindor girls making their way towards their table, their arms laden with bags he assumed contained their purchases of the day. A petite girl whose name Severus could never remember led the way, her blonde curls bobbing. Her sharp eyes darted to him and a look of disgust flashed across her face.

"We've been looking everywhere for you!" the girl chided, plopping her bags on the table.

Lily smiled faintly. "I told you, I was going to spend the day with - "

"We're going to Zonko's," the girl interrupted. She grabbed Lily's hand and dragged her to her feet. "C'mon! Helen told me they have a new display of Christmas crackers!"

Lily shook her head. "No, Sev and I were - "

"You've basically spent the day with him, haven't you?" her friend chirped, speaking as if Severus wasn't there. "Come with your friends now!"

The implication stung. But he knew she would decline the offer. The whole 'Mudblood' affair really hadn't been that bad. He settled his gaze on her face, waiting for her to dismiss the group of girls.

She chewed her lip, not meeting his eye. "Okay," she said finally.

And Severus felt as though the wind had been knocked out of him.

His mind was reeling with confusion. This was not how the day was supposed to end, with Lily walking away as if he meant nothing. He was more to her than that - wasn't he?

"Maybe you can go sit with your friends over there," she said, gesturing over to the table of rowdy Slytherins, a tone of bitterness evident in her voice.

Severus was speechless.

He watched, in a daze, as her friend collected her bags and looped her arm through Lily's. For one glorious second, her green eyes met his, and a flash of apology lit up her face. Then a particularity loud shout from the Slytherin table drew her attention, and her features hardened.

"See you," she said shortly, and her friend began to pull her away from him.

She did not resist.

And off went another piece of his heart.


End file.
